Searching for My People: Tribalism Is Real

Let me be straight with you. I am still searching for my people.

Not by race. Not by religion. Not by what neighborhood you grew up in or what team you root for on Sunday. I am talking about something deeper — something that goes back 2.8 million years to the plains of Africa, when early humans figured out that survival depended on finding the right group. That instinct never left us. It just got complicated.

Tribalism is real. It always has been. The question is what you build your tribe around.

What My Tribe Looks Like

I have been thinking about this for a long time. I spent over two decades as a Port Authority of New York and New Jersey police officer. I have seen the best and worst of people. I have stood next to men and women of every background, every faith, every political stripe — and what separated the ones I trusted from the ones I did not had nothing to do with any of that.

It came down to character.

So here is what my people look like. Here is the tribe I am searching for.

They are not racist. Full stop. No asterisks, no "but." Racism is a dead end and my people know it.

They protect each other. Not just their own. Not just the people who look like them or vote like them. They show up. When someone in the circle is in trouble, you move toward them, not away.

They help each other. Quietly, without keeping score. Because it is the right thing to do.

They share political views — but not extreme ones. My people believe in something. They have opinions. They will argue with you over a beer and mean every word of it. But they do not worship at the altar of any political party. They do not lose their minds over an election. They do not cut off family members because of a yard sign.

They pledge allegiance to the Constitution — not to any president. This one matters to me deeply. I took an oath to that document. Not to a man. Not to a party. The Constitution is the floor, not the ceiling. My people understand that.

They do not judge others. Live your life. Let others live theirs. My people have opinions but they keep them in their lane when it comes to how other people choose to exist in this world.

They believe in helping their fellow man — regardless of race, color, or religion. Need is need. Suffering is suffering. My people see a person first.

Where I Stand on Faith

I want to be honest here because I think honesty is the only way this conversation is worth having.

I believe Jesus existed. I do not believe he was a messiah. I do not believe in God — not in the traditional sense. But here is the thing: I do not judge anyone who does.

If your faith makes you a better person — if it gives you strength, compassion, purpose, and a reason to treat your neighbor with dignity — then who am I to question that? That is between you and whatever you believe in. My people do not use religion as a weapon. They do not wave it in your face. And they do not dismiss it either.

I believe in science. I believe in evidence. I believe in asking hard questions and sitting with uncomfortable answers. But I also believe that human beings need meaning, and meaning comes in many forms.

My people hold all of that at the same time without their heads exploding.

The Tribe I Am Still Looking For

Here is the honest truth. I have not found enough of them yet.

I meet them sometimes — a conversation at a diner, a guy at the gym, someone in the comments who actually says something real. And for a moment it feels like: there you are. But then it fades back into the noise.

That is part of why I started this podcast and this blog. I am putting my voice out there because I believe my people are out there too. They are just scattered. They are tired of the shouting. They are done with the tribalism that divides instead of builds.

They want what I want: a group of people who have each other's backs, who tell the truth, who do not need a uniform or a flag or a party card to know who they are.

Come Find Me

If any of this sounds like you — if you read this and thought yeah, that is me — then you are already part of what I am building here.

This is not a movement. It is not a brand. It is just a guy from New York who spent his career watching people at their worst and their best, and who still believes the best is worth fighting for.

I am searching for my people.

Maybe you are too.

Let's talk.